I suppose it's time for me to add my own thoughts on this wonderful blog that's been designed for me. Thank you to everyone who's stepped out to help with things like setting up a blog for us to share our updates, for those who have been able to help us through donations, for those who have just simply encouraged us with scripture and prayers! I can't begin to thank you enough! I'm more overwhelmed by the love and support I've felt from friends and family and then also by those who I've not even met yet! It's truly opened my eyes up to how the body of Christ is designed to work to carry the burdens of others. It's challenged me as a christian to be that kind of a person for someone else in need, so thank you for that!
There are so many lessons we're learning as a family. And I think the tough one that I'm face to face with is just that fact that this life is not my own. Although I'd love to be healthy and carefree and for this to pass IMMEDIATLY I have to realize that my life is to bring glory to God. And if that means I suffer in order for that to happen, that's what needs to happen. If someone's eyes are opened to God's LOVE and his PROVISION and his PEACE through all of this....it's all worth it! It's hard to say that when you're having a pity part for yourself but I know in my heart that God's plan is so much bigger than I'll ever understand. I have to keep trusting. And God has never failed me. I can be mad I'm going through this, but at the same time.... I can't stop praising him. He's such a good God and I know he's gone before me and he's holding my hand through all of this. So...one day at a time! Which is hard for me. I'm a big picture kind of girl and honestly, the big picture is kind of overwhelming for me right now. But taking it day by day seems impossible for me too. It seems too slow!
Right now my concerns or anxieties lie with not knowing what to expect. I know I've been told I'll be going into a downhill time in about a week...I THINK i'll probably just get REALLY worn out. I'm trying not to be a whimp about it and get depressed over feeling so tired and all since worse things could happen as side effects. It's just hard to feel so lethargic when you have two kids who need you. Please pray for my son Hunter who admitted he was afraid I was going to die. I had no idea he even feared that and it broke my heart. So as much as we assure him, I pray for peace in his little 4 yr old heart that he'd KNOW I'm in God's safe hands and that he will have no fear. That somehow this journey will be remembered as one that has humor and joy for our family, despite the challenges we'll face. And pray he doesn't freak out when I lose my hair but that he'll think it's cool. :)
The fact that my hair will probably be gone next week is bizaare. Sometimes I think I'm prepared, and then I realize, how can you be prepared for that? We'll see how that goes. We're thinking of maybe jumping the gun and shaving it off sunday...if I have the guts. We'll see. Pray I keep my eyebrows please :)
I'll keep you updated with my feelings, thoughts, experiences as I have energy to type them. Otherwise I know Jonas will do a good job updating for me. As for now, I'm holding on to God's promises.
"Heal me, O Lord, and I will be healed; save me and I will be saved, for You are the One I praise." Jeremiah 17:14