My thoughtful husband...

So.....lastnight Jonas sits me down and happily announces to me, "Becky...tonight you can choose WHATEVER dessert you want. You tell me and I'll get it for you. Whatever you're in the mood for. Except.....not strawberry shortcake. And....not brownies...or anything with peanut butter in it. Or cake...."

Well...he just eliminated every dessert I eat. Needless to say, he ended up getting a dessert he wanted :)

Today was another great day :) Full of energy and strength! (although my white blood cell count is still low) Jonas once again got me out of the house and we took a trip to Kittery, Maine for the day with our kids. Just a good day :)

Now for some specifics you can pray for:
- my parents come in 8 days but I'm nervous I'll be at the point where physically I am WIPED OUT and having to lay down all day long (since I have chemo this coming week). I know they don't care, but I'm praying for supernatural strength and energy just to be able to enjoy their company while they're visiting me.

-I'm praying my body continues to react well to chemo. I've heard it can slowly get harder and harder each cycle as your body's cells are basically being poisoned and struggling to rebuild before the next chemo treatment.... Basically with this first cycle I had one rough week where I couldn't function and the rest of the time I've felt great! So I'm praying that, even though maybe typically I would slowly be getting weaker and weaker and finding it harder and harder to make it through and find enough energy, that God will give me supernatural strength to have good cycles...good months full of energy and strength and feeling like me. That he would build my immune system back up quickly after each treatment and preserve my cells as much as possible.

Thanks again for your continued care and prayers!

Having a vulnerable day (Becky)

I just now read what Jonas wrote as his last blog...sigh....I have tears in my eyes. But sadly I, too, had felt that same thing with him. I didn't know how much I loved him until all of this happened. I had such a bitter view on things...focused on failures all the time...kept thinking of what I WISH he would be doing instead of appreciating the person he WAS being. We must have kind of lost our way a little bit within our relationship. Not that it was bad!! But we were in such a rut I think...we didn't even know we were missing out! So I,too, thank God for allowing this trial to open our eyes to each other again. The fact that I can fall in love with my husband again after 11 years... and learn things about him I never knew existed is exciting! And thank God we are discovering this now while our kids are young so we can model for them a truly, appreciative, loving couple and hopefully that they will learn to trust God through all trials. With a joyful heart too.

But that's not what I was going to write about tonight :). Today was kind of an emotionally tough day for me and as always, I could use your continued prayers. Physically I've been feeling great lately!! 100% me! Full of energy... loving it! But even though I feel great, my blood count is low today and I've been told to stay home for a few days and avoid people/crowds since I'm so susceptible to germs and infections right now. Bummer. But I had a doctor's appointment today and although Jonas left feeling it was a good meeting, I left freaked out. (which is where your prayers can help me out) :). I found out that the PETscan revealed some cancerous spots in my nodes in my throat and some in my lung as well as the mass I knew about in the sternum area. Just knowing it's IN my lung... spread some in my throat... not comforting!! (it's not lung cancer, still lymphoma... still stage 4...still treated same way) But they said because it's not in just once location, I have a higher chance of it coming back after remission and treatment. And that if that happens the prognosis isn't that good. (at least I think that's what the guy said). So of course, little worry wart me freaks out about how i may make it through this trial (I WILL make it through this trial) but what if only to find out in a few years it's back and I have to go through this all over again...and what if my body is too weak to do it again? How can I live my life always in fear that it could reappear? (all questions that I find myself worrying over, but in my heart I know I just need to trust God) I asked them what the percentage was of someone like me having it come back again in the future but as they're doing the numbers and sharing the studies with me and giving their medical opinion, I realized what a silly question that can be. Because it doesn't matter what the numbers are. I know God is bigger and can do WHATEVER he wants. They could tell me it's terminal cancer... yet God is bigger than that. Not that I don't have respect for doctors, medicine, etc.... I just happen to know that my creator is not limited to science and numbers and studies and such. THAT is what I need to keep my eyes on. (which again is where your prayers can help) The MINUTE I let my focus stray to the cancer and the realization that it's in me!!! I freak. Fear overwhelms me, I cry... but then the minute I get my focus back on God... and how GOOD he is and how MERCIFUL he is and how he loves us SOOOO deeply and is moved by what we go through and how all I want to do is fulfill his purpose through this and make him proud, I feel his peace. I still worry about it. I still find myself breaking down at random moments in the day when I have a moment of privacy.

One more thing you can pray for. Kind of a silly thing to worry about right now when I just need to win this battle first :) but it's on my heart. I've been told I may be infertile after this experience. There's a chance I won't, but a chance I will. And it's never easy to hear that you may no longer have that opportunity to have one more sweet baby. I never thought Jonas would want another anyway since he was surprised and never ready with the first two :) but before we knew I had lymphoma (when we heard about the mass) he admitted to me that he didn't think he was done having kids. This is HUGE for him to say. A MIRACLE! :) But then we were told of the possibility of infertility, and it just hits me sometimes. I had always thought I'd want to try one more time, hopefully for a girl :) (I'm sure it would be a third boy) but to know this may be taken from me is really tough. And just this week Hunter randomly asked me if we could please have a baby sister and said he was going to ask God for that. The timing of his comment kind of broke my heart. I know it's not a no yet... but there's that chance. So, would you pray that IF IT'S GOD'S WILL he'd save a healthy little egg of mine? :) for after this process? (wouldn't hurt if it was a girl :) but I'll be happy with any healthy baby!) And if it's not his will for us to have more, that he'd take away the desire from our hearts. I do trust God. And I THANK him for the two surprises we had just in time.... His timing really is perfect. So, those are just my thoughts on that. Kind of personal, but hey.... we seem to be putting it all out there anyway for everyone :).

Thanks again for praying. Please don't stop. I need your prayers. Every day is a challenge whether it's physically or emotionally. And I need people to believe with me for healing with NO relapse!!
Off to shower and see if any hair falls out :) Still nothing yet!!

I'll leave with this perfect reminder.
Jeremiah 32:27 "I am the Lord, the God of all mankind. Is anything too hard for me?"
Jeremiah 32:17 "Ah, Sovereign Lord, You have made the heavens and the earth by your great power and outstretched arm. Nothing is too hard for you."

A Husband's Perspective

    Today was a good day for my beautiful bride.  Nothing makes me feel better than watching her interact with the boys and look happy and healthy.  As a husband, as a man, as a sinner, I find myself wanting to fix anything and everything that goes wrong in my life and in my families life.  When I get tight financially I can go out and pick up a side job, if things go wrong with my house I can physically fix the issue.  When my wife was diagnosed with cancer I could do NOTHING.  I've never felt so useless and defeated as I did when I heard that news.  I'm still coming to grips with the lack of control that I have over this situation.  It's easy to say that God is in control when you have a little bit of the control still.  I feel like I'm learning about myself again.  I feel like I'm learning more about my wife.  I'm seeing her as a vibrant, powerful warrior.  She's this petite, gorgeous, sophisticated, spiritual woman, and yet she shines with such radiant power right now.  She'll disagree with me on that for sure.
    I led worship tonight at a small group.  I felt strange leaving Becky home with the boys, even if for a short time.  As I was there in the middle of worship I heard my wife's words echo in my head.  Don't worry about this situation, just WORSHIP GOD because He is in control.  So...I did.  What a release!  Coming home tonight was fantastic.  Having her greet me with eyes so bright and a spirit so gentle.  I guess I'm saying that I'm falling in love with all the little pieces of my wife that I didn't know I loved.  I actually felt a sense of gratefulness tonight.  I actually thanked God for this process.  Without this cancer, I wouldn't have known how amazing my wife truly is.  What a shameful thing for me to type here, but it's true.  She has gone on being amazing but I haven't recognized it like I should have.  Thank you Jesus for this trial.  I will not waste it.

STARTING TO FEEL IT

I've definitely noticed changes in my body the last few days.  I've never felt so weak and worn out.  It is so frustrating not being able to go out and do the things that I would like to do.  My husband has been really good about getting me out in the sun.  He's been taking me for rides in the car just to get some fresh air.  I feel like a dog sticking my head out the car window.  :)  For the most part I've only been able to stand for a few minutes before I need to sit down to rest.  I keep reminding myself that "I can do all things through CHRIST who strengthens me."

Here are some specific prayer request if you would feel moved to pray for me:
1. I need energy just to stand and walk right now.
2. Pray that my aches and pains would not come back.
3. When I sit to rest that I would actually feel comfortable and not restless and settled.
4. That I would have clarity of my mind.  I feel at times that I'm living in a fog.
5. That my spirits would stay lifted up and that I would stay focused on God.  That I wouldn't stay focused on how long the days feel.

Thanks for being such prayer warriors during this time in my life where I feel so helpless.  Your words have been and continue to be a great inspiration to me and my family.

Becky

August 23, 2012 From Jonas

I took Bec into the Dr. today to have her sore throat checked out. Turns out it's nothing serious. With a powerful antibiotic she'll be fine in a few days. They checked her blood count and it was looking perfect. Next Wed. is supposed to be her lowest day. This will be the day where her platelets and white blood cells will be at their lowest. This can make the patient feel completely exhausted. I'm praying against that. Truth is, Becky is the mother of 3 boys. Hunter (4yrs) and Liam (1yr) and me (24yrs). If there's one thing she's used to, it's being exhausted.

-JONAS

Becky's thoughts for the day

I suppose it's time for me to add my own thoughts on this wonderful blog that's been designed for me. Thank you to everyone who's stepped out to help with things like setting up a blog for us to share our updates, for those who have been able to help us through donations, for those who have just simply encouraged us with scripture and prayers! I can't begin to thank you enough! I'm more overwhelmed by the love and support I've felt from friends and family and then also by those who I've not even met yet! It's truly opened my eyes up to how the body of Christ is designed to work to carry the burdens of others. It's challenged me as a christian to be that kind of a person for someone else in need, so thank you for that!
There are so many lessons we're learning as a family. And I think the tough one that I'm face to face with is just that fact that this life is not my own. Although I'd love to be healthy and carefree and for this to pass IMMEDIATLY I have to realize that my life is to bring glory to God. And if that means I suffer in order for that to happen, that's what needs to happen. If someone's eyes are opened to God's LOVE and his PROVISION and his PEACE through all of this....it's all worth it! It's hard to say that when you're having a pity part for yourself but I know in my heart that God's plan is so much bigger than I'll ever understand. I have to keep trusting. And God has never failed me. I can be mad I'm going through this, but at the same time.... I can't stop praising him. He's such a good God and I know he's gone before me and he's holding my hand through all of this. So...one day at a time! Which is hard for me. I'm a big picture kind of girl and honestly, the big picture is kind of overwhelming for me right now. But taking it day by day seems impossible for me too. It seems too slow!

Right now my concerns or anxieties lie with not knowing what to expect. I know I've been told I'll be going into a downhill time in about a week...I THINK i'll probably just get REALLY worn out. I'm trying not to be a whimp about it and get depressed over feeling so tired and all since worse things could happen as side effects. It's just hard to feel so lethargic when you have two kids who need you. Please pray for my son Hunter who admitted he was afraid I was going to die. I had no idea he even feared that and it broke my heart. So as much as we assure him, I pray for peace in his little 4 yr old heart that he'd KNOW I'm in God's safe hands and that he will have no fear. That somehow this journey will be remembered as one that has humor and joy for our family, despite the challenges we'll face. And pray he doesn't freak out when I lose my hair but that he'll think it's cool. :)

The fact that my hair will probably be gone next week is bizaare. Sometimes I think I'm prepared, and then I realize, how can you be prepared for that? We'll see how that goes. We're thinking of maybe jumping the gun and shaving it off sunday...if I have the guts. We'll see. Pray I keep my eyebrows please :)

I'll keep you updated with my feelings, thoughts, experiences as I have energy to type them. Otherwise I know Jonas will do a good job updating for me. As for now, I'm holding on to God's promises.
"Heal me, O Lord, and I will be healed; save me and I will be saved, for You are the One I praise." Jeremiah 17:14

Update from Jonas

Can I just say thank you to everyone who has taken even a moment out of their day to pray for my beautiful bride Becky. Thanks to all of you at Glad Tidings Community Church for being such an amazing church family. Wow, we are truly blessed. This has been the most trying time of our lives and yet somehow in the midst of it we feel complete peace. I don't who you are out there reading this stuff. Maybe it stirs your heart to see what we're going through. That moves us. But please consider that we are believers in Jesus. I know to many this is an instant uncomfortable moment, but for us, it's our life. This is why we have peace, not because we were taught to but because this is just one of many times in our lives where God has proven his love to us. Some see this as God's punishment, some may see it as a sheer coincidence, we see it as the big picture. So far I've learned two very massive lessons. I'm going to tell you these even though it is extremely uncomfortable for me. 1st lesson learned: My faith is easily shaken. I sing about not being worried, and I sing about trusting that God has a plan. When it came out that Becky has cancer, I was lost. I knew the answers but I was still lost. I was confronted by my faith as I sat alone one night in the shower. It was an overwhelming sense of comfort followed by a massive sense of my loss of control. I'm a control freak (no surprise to anyone). Confronting that reality was so hard, but letting go and allowing God to do what He does best was a great relief to me. 2nd VERY HARD LESSON: I'm not the husband that I should be. It's easy in the middle of something like this to get scared. Shoot, we thought Becky was dying 3 weeks ago. She was telling me what to do with the boys, how to raise them! We were both crying and terrified. As I sat there watching Becky rest with her eyes closed, all I could think was how much of a failure I've been as her husband. I'm a good dad, but a pretty lousy husband. My failure showed up in me pouring myself into my kids and giving whatever was left to my wife. She got the leftovers and there wasn't all that much to give. I found that I put myself first in almost every situation. Needless to say, that changed in one night as I sat there watching my wife die, or at least I thought she was. Through this experience I'm learning to let go of my control and let go of myself. I have a lot more to learn but I'm EXTREMELY grateful that God would chose to use Becky and I to minister to you. Whatever that means. Becky truly believes that God is using her Lymphoma to help us grow closer to each other and more importantly to TRUST IN GOD MORE!

Here's what you don't know. Becky found the mass by "accident." it wasn't anything that we were concerned about. The Dr. sent her in for an x-ray just as a normal checkup. They found the mass. We went in for our appt. and we were expecting to wait until this Friday August 24th to meet with anyone about this. 5 days ago Becky was feeling seriously out of breath and tired. She was simply going to wait until Friday to deal with it. Liam (our 1yr old) got a cold or something. Becky decided to bring him to the Dr. to get him checked out. Turns out it was nothing. He's cutting teeth. But the Dr. told Bec that she didn't look good and that she needed to get to the emergency room. I got home that night and brought her in. She had a little over 1/2 liter of fluid around her heart! This was restricting her breathing and her overall performance. they moved her appt with the oncologist up to the next day! We met with them, they drained her fluid which helped bring her heart rate down and blood pressure back up. The next day she started chemo therapy. If my little buddy Liam hadn't been cutting teeth, Becky may have been dead! You may say great thing coincidence was on our side, I say PRAISE A GOD THAT IS CONCERNED WITH LITTLE O'LE US!!!!!!! Anyway...that's my start to what I'm sure will be a much longer and spell check rant. I am truly moved and blessed to have you all in my life.

3

First, a shout-out to Amy Martin for her amazing job making this blog more accessible and useful to everyone. Thanks, Amy!

I will update you with Jonas' Facebook status, so that if you aren't yet "friends" with him, you will be up to speed.

UPDATE: Becky finished up her Chemo today. They broke it into two days because they started so late last night. She is doing fantastic right now. Here's what we need people to pray for specifically: 1. that as Bec goes through the chemo getting into her body that she would continue to feel as ok as possible. The chemo will make her very week over the next few weeks. 2. that when she loses her hair, her self confidence would flourish. (She's gorgeous no matter what) but that she would feel pretty. 3. finances. I will need to take serious time out of work over the next few months to help with the kids, house, and of course Becky. That's a scary one right now. 4. That we would find strength and hope in each other as we both follow after God's will for our lives. This experience has drawn us both closer to each other and to God. It's amazing how something like this make us evaluate who we are at our core.

As he mentioned, finances are going to become an increasing burden on them. Bills begin to arrive quickly and then just don't seem to stop. We can unite together in making sure the Enemy doesn't use that to cripple their pursuit and assurance of Him, and HIS ability to overcome what they face.

Most of us could not pay the thousands of dollars on their behalf. Even with amazing insurance, the copays and "patient responsibility" is seemingly astronomical. But, if everyone does what they can, no matter how small, this will become just one more way for God to be glorified through His church.

As always, let's keep lifting them up in prayer. As Becky's appearance changes, let's pray for her boys not to be fearful. As her body is weakened through chemo, let's pray her spirit is strengthened. Let's pray for each of them, as they face their own unique battles, to be stayed by the Spirit of God and united to each other and Him.

Ask God to show YOU how YOU can pray specifically. He may reveal something to you, and only you, that they need, whether spiritually, emotionally, physically or financially. God is not only all-powerful. He is also intensely personal. Allow yourself to take this in, and, as you do, let's look for ways to see it exemplified in this situation.

Thanks for your prayers.

~Jena (Saaybe) Schaumburg

Remember, to donate, go to www.paypal.com and select "personal gift" to godsbodyforbecky@gmail.com

Update from Jonas

Hey, all. God is doing amazing things. I just got off the phone with paypal (MAN! They have REALLY got security down in that company :).) and they released the flag on the account so that the $599+ was sent to them tonight.

Did you read that?

$599.

God is so amazing. And, it's truly humbling to be a part of something that is so clearly larger than any individual.

I received this from Jonas tonight:

We're at the ER right now b/c Bec has been feeling pretty lousy. She has a wicked cough and is starting really feel weak and tired. She has been out of breath pretty regularly and can't walk but a few steps without losing her breath. She has a great attitude about this. I'm the one that's stressed out. It is called Type B Large Cell Primary Lymphoma. Thanks for your help, it means so much. Please thank the people that have helped financially so far. With this happening I'm not able to work b/c I need to watch the boys. So this is helping so much.

Let's all continue to think of ways to uplift the Woods family, as they each face their own version of a battle. I'm working to find ways to make this more readily available to people. Please feel free to give me suggestions in that regard, as well.

I'll keep updating as needed.

Edited because it looks like Becky's x-rays at the ER came back with good news:

(Jonas' Facebook update:

UPDATE: Xray showed that her mass has not grown. That's good news. Her blood work came back perfect which is a great sign. They will be taking her in for a Catscan to make sure that she doesn't have and blood clots. This is sometime caused by tumors. In this case it is easily remedied with blood thinners. They gave her a super strong cough medicine. It seems to be working. She's as gorgeous as ever. Just thought I'd throw that out there. :) I'm a proud hubby. She's WAY stronger then me.)

Total: $595

Hi, everyone. After being on the phone for a good chunk of this morning, I am making some changes to the format of our "fundraising," as it is proving difficult to make sure ALL funds go directly to the Woods family. I hate to confuse things, but I also do not want to see people's generosity going towards fees.

The best way to guarantee all of your funds will go to the Woods family is to go directly to paypal.com and make a "personal gift" to godsbodyforbecky@gmail.com. While paypal (and Chipin) will allow for donations, there is a seemingly unavoidable charge in the link through that site.

Rest assured, if you gave already, I have spoken with paypal, and they are refunding all charges/deductions that had been made so that the full amount of your gift will be given to Becky and Jonas.

I am working to see if Chipin can manage to allow paypal donations without a charge, but in the meantime, let's go directly to paypal. In the future, if there changes are made, the godsbodyforbecky paypal account will continue to go directly to the Woods family.

I will continue to update the title of this post with the current balance in that account. It is amazing to see the generosity of your hearts and know that together we can work to lift part of their burden.

Blessings,

Jena (Saaybe) Schaumburg